I wonder what a good mother would do when she has the same situation as I have these several days.
My Babies on My Bed
My beautiful little baby (the little one) was an ASI monster before. She drank sooooo much ASI. Until one night, I was so tired, and I gave her ASI only from my left breast. The next morning, my left breast became sooooo full--every breastfeeding mother will understand this. Because it was so full, my nipple, which is a little bit too small, became flat and she refused to drink from my left breast. I pushed her, because I knew, if I didn't, she won't drink ASI from my left breast forever. Aaaaand, the problem's coming, she was upset. And, I don't know why, since that day, everytime I tried to give her ASI, she became cranky. Well not always, but most of time. And the worst part is she has a very very very loud voice, even Suster who came to visit me on the first 10 days after I came home from the hospital said "dari lahir ini, suaranya paling kenceng sendiri, sampe kalau dia nangis, bayi2 di ruang bayi langsung diem semua".
My beautiful little baby became more cranky at night. And according to my intuition as a mother, She has colic. She drinks enough ASI (when she doesn't refuse my breast, she drinks like glek glek glek, and her diapers always get wet), I change her diaper almost every 4 hours or less (except when she sleeps at night, after her long cranky, I change her diaper after 6 hours), but she keeps cranky and my breast, my hug, even her Father's can't calm her. And it happens almost every night, until she gets tired crying and screaming.
My daughter also has allergies. People say when you are a breastfeeding mother you should eat more food because half of what you eat will be eaten by your baby. So, I ate everything I want. Until one day, there are thousands pimples on my daughter face and her body. Since that day, I don't eat almost everything. I don't drink milk, I don't eat chesse, chocolate, seafood, and everything with high protein.
Her stomach is way too sensitive. If I eat "something wrong", she pups like every hour everyday. She also can have hiccup and reflux easily. It's hard to burp her. This makes my daughter cranky too.
When my baby daughter was cranky, I always hold her in my arms. Along that cranky moment, her brother, my baby boy, was playing alone, sometimes with his Father. He enjoys playing alone, but he's still my baby boy who likes to play with his Mother and needs attention from me. He rarely gets cranky, but he usually become quiet. It really breaks my heart.
No, it doesn't make me stressed. But, if I am sleepy or tired, it makes me cranky. And almost every night when my baby daughter was cranky, at the same time, I was tired. It's because the previous night I didn't get enough sleep, I had to wake up in the morning and finished all the household chores, also took care of my babies, and I couldn't take a nap because when I was ready to take a nap, it was the time I must bathe my babies, and then another cranky night was coming. When I'm cranky, I grunt a lot, I want to cry with no reason, the cranky itself is the reason why.
The cranky moment was over, my baby daughter slept peacefully, and then I started feeling guilty, baby blues was coming. I thought I was failed being a good mother. I was afraid that my baby would hate me because I couldn't calm herself and myself when we're cranky.
But I realize, I am not alone. There are millions new mothers who feel the same. Breastfeeding problems, colic, and allergies are very common in new mother's life. This, too, shall past. Everything in life is temporary. The main key of these problems is yourself. Whether you want to be happy or not. It's all your choice.
New mother should find something that makes her happy. For me, my happiness is my husband being nice to me (I hope he reads this 😝). But I also found my happines in shopping (I hope my husband reads this too 😂), hanging out and having a little chit chat with my friends, getting a surprise (but not a bad one), and watching my little family's happy faces. What's yours? 😉
Bunda Meela ❤