Hey, I can’t sleep well this night. I don’t know why. But, there’re questions in my head. Am I happy today? Yesterday? This week? Last week? This month? Last month? This year? Last year? What the hell is happy? Will I be happy? Forever? What will make me happy? Who? When? Where? What will it do to make me happy? Will I really happy? Oh, Allah, there’re too many questions. And I don’t know the best answer for them.
You know? I miss you, so much. But, I don’t know what kind of you I miss? Why do I miss you? Since when? Till when? Will it last forever? Oh, Allah, no please. Missing you makes me sick, boy. When we met last month (as I remember) what did we do? Why do I so want it to come again? What about you? Do you feel the same? No? Yes? Don’t know?
Anyway, those questions make me think. There’s only me in this relationship. No you. Where’re you? You’re gone. You’re not here. You’re just a past. Do you think what I think is right? No? Yes? Don’t know? Oh, Allah, I don’t even know you. What will you answer that questions? You never told me what you want. Everyone hopes and wants for things in life. Do you hope something, honey? For this relationship? From me? Don’t you want to meet me like I want it? Don’t you want me to be yours like I really want it? Don’t you want to come back here with me like I want it so much? Yes? No? Have no idea? :)
When you first sent me a message you made me confused. Now, I’m sorry for making you feel what I felt. Hehe.
There’re so much words I need to talk to you. Sometimes I just wanna text you. But, when you phone me, it all just disappear. So, I don’t say anything.
Our relationship (now) is just an sms-type. I enjoy it. But, when you phone me sometimes, I don’t know what to do. And when you come to my house, I don’t know us, I don’t know what should I do, what should I talk, I don’t know how to serve you. Like a friend? Old friend? College friend? Or just a boy I know? Or boyfriend? Or Ex-boyfriend? Haha. The last is right I think. Do you know how an ex-girlfriend serves her ex? Give me a tip please. What does she talk about? How is her face? Smiling? Or just flat?
I’m not angry. I just want to talk. Maybe, I need no answer. I think you don’t know the answer. :D
That’s all up to me. Is it right? I can answer anything I want. Cause there’s only me. :D
I am not crying. Allah is so fair. Much smile much cry. No smile no cry. :)
I love you. You never say you love me because I think you don’t love me. Have ever been in love? Yes? How did it feel? When she said she loved you? When she smiled at you? When she kissed you? When she touched you? When she held you in her arm?
Or, you have never been in love? What is love for you? Do you believe in love? Do you think you can be happy or sad because of love? Do you think love (a girl) is important? Do you think love is a big thing? Nope?
Everybody needs affection, honey.
Since February, I never cried because of you. You’re doing well. Sometimes I cried when I remember my past. Sometimes I regret all I have. Sometimes I am happy for what I have, though it isn’t what I want. Life is complicated. Agree?
Breaking a girl heart isn’t a crime. But, it’s so bad. If you think you’re gonna break it just don’t take it. Be careful with a girl heart. It looks great. But inside, it’s so weak. Whatever girl it is.
Someday you’ll see, love is not just like that what you think. It’s bigger. And it’s not only about connection. People do have connection with others. But, love is bigger than that. I am not a mature. I just know that.
You’re a different man. You said people changed. Yes. Agree. But you’re different.
You have times for doing anything but meeting me. I’m your very last person in your life. When you’re done with others, then you come to me. I understand it. I’m not angry. I just miss. :)
If you don’t wanna make a girl sad, don’t ever make her happy.
You’re so great. People like you. Whatever you do.
… (This part is kind of secret)
Good night. WassalamualaikumWrWb.
Meela, 20:06:2010 02:56